35 Things

I turn 35 today. Here are some things I have learned throughout my 3 1/2 decades of life!

Today is my birthday. The best present you could give me is becoming a paid subscriber to my Substack reading one of my posts that resonates with you and sharing with a friend.

I typically like to intentionally not plan anything for my birthday and then pout because there is nothing planned. I am too overwhelmed by the idea of throwing a birthday party so I feign low maintenance and tell everyone that “I’m not a birthday girl” and I’m not. But maybe I am. I hate the spotlight but I love attention. It’s a weird dichotomy. I like attention on my own terms, done spontaneously and without an audience expecting a certain reaction. Public gift giving is my worst nightmare. I almost didn’t have a bridal or baby shower because of it. In fact, I hate gifts. Acts of service are where it’s at. Words of affirmations me and I’m yours. Am I rambling? I clearly haven’t learned how to edit my thoughts in my 35 years here. Anyways, I love to marinate in a little birthday sulk and then end the day feeling grateful (and almost relieved) my birthday has come and gone. Another year done and dusted.

But this year I am taking inventory. 35 feels like a big year. It’s not as big as 40 but it’s big enough to put me into a new age grouping bracket. Gone are the days of checking the box on all the surveys categorizing my age as within 25-34 years old. Hell if I got pregnant right now, it would be considered geriatric - but I would beg to differ because my oura ring says I have the cardiac age of a 29 year old.

So 35, eh? It feels like a good, clean, round number. It feels like a great age to start something. “I was 35 when I started [xyz] company” yeah, that sounds good. It feels like the age when you can really sink your teeth into your identity and the fucks just melt away. I like it. To honor this milestone, I would love to share 35 things I have learned in my 35 years on planet earth:

1. scotch guard your shoes

2. handwritten thank you notes never go out of style

3. have at least one creative outlet with no ROI that exists purely to keep you sane.

4. getting to know the people around the people in charge is just as important (if not more) than winning over the top dog

5. leaf blowers are a universe language all men speak

6. perfect really is the enemy of the good

7. cooking your pasta in broth makes it 10x more nutritious

8. it’s easy to show up for people in the good times, showing up for them in the bad is what makes you a real friend

9. use your face retinol on your hands

10. a spray tan will instantly improve your day

11. unfortunately getting up early really is the key to productivity and I wish it didn’t have to be this way

12. 10 minutes of silence a day is crucial to clarity

13. the best thing you can do as a mom is learn how to repair after a fuck up

14. breathwork is an amazing tool and will make you have the best sleep of your life

15. ask the universe for signs, it will gladly respond.

16. if you have a proven track record with someone and they choose to not see you for who you are, that’s a them problem you cannot fix - and stop explaining yourself to people who have already decided

17. cortibalm is the all-time best chapstick

18. flakey sea salt on everything

19. nobody is going to prioritize your needs for you, so you need to prioritize them for yourself.

20. pickled onions are the superior condiment

21. water, movement, and music are the keys to getting out of a funk

22. never show up to someone’s house empty handed

23. wearing cashmere socks to bed will put you to sleep quicker

24. read a book this year, you’ll be better for it.

25. learn CPR

26. the body really does keep score

27. never be too big in your britches to apologize

28. asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of knowing your limits.

29. if you don’t use the Rakuten browser extension, you’re missing out on free money!

30. lip blushing is the best cosmetic service money can buy (with microneedling a close second)

31. everyone should know their love language and if you don’t, then take one of the free online quizzes

32. demand a full blood test panel from your doctor once a year (every 6 months is even better) and know your baselines

33. stop confusing busy with being important (remember my favorite article?)

34. never over promise and under deliver and never overfunction for undercommitted people

35. it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be.

Some years are for questions, others are for answers. This year finally feels like an answer year and I’m here for it. So thanks for letting me take inventory. Life has been both beautiful and tragic all at once (and you know my theory on this). I’ve learned things the hard way, the funny way, and the way you only learn after repeating the same mistake just enough times to finally get bored of it. I’ve put my foot in my mouth more times than I can count and will probably end my life with some sort of human record but that’s showbiz, baby!

This year, turning thirty-five, it doesn’t feel loud—it feels grounded. Less proving, more choosing. Fewer illusions, better boundaries. I can feel my backbone sprouting and I plan to keep watering it. It’s amazing when you start to know what you want out of life and can set your GPS accordingly.

Tell me one of the best life lessons you’ve learned in the comments!

Want the audio of this post where I give context to each “thing” and tell a few secrets? Well, you’ll have to pay for that buddy. It’s located just right there below the paywall ↓