The Saturday Sauce™

We're back and (probably) worse than ever ☺︎

The Sunday Sauce is back - on a Saturday. Did it ever leave? I honestly don’t know. At least I’m consistently inconsistent. It’s endearing, right? RIGHT?

Life has been lifing lately. My 2nd born petri dish of a child probably licked something and brought one of the seven plagues home to our family so we’ve all been fighting for our lives for the past week. My kids did not get any of my hypochondriac tendencies. They will look me dead in the eye as they eat a forgotten snack off of an airplane seat. It’s diabolical. I call it natural vaccination. Survival of the fittest immune system. But we are all suffering because of it.

Anyways, I’m going to trauma camp this week (that’s not really what it’s called - it’s basically a wellness retreat with therapists on retainer) so I will be out-of-pocket until next week. Don’t call, don’t write. Just read and…

Things That Stuck

Hair crimping: I’ve been back on my crimping BS and it’s really playing into my 90s summer energy. I let my hair air dry and then just willy nilly crimp random pieces and badaboom, badabam we’re looking like Ariel’s friend from the wrong side of the lagoon.

The Tin Can: Speaking of 90s summer, our Tin Can finally came and I cannot believe a landline can bring me this much joy. Hide your kids (numbers), hide your wife(’s number) because you could be added to our Tin Can’s speed dial which means a guaranteed 10-15 spam calls a day from someone who looks like this ↓ But seriously, this is one of the greatest additions to our home to date. I love when my kids call me and loves that any approved numbers can call them too. They go wild any time the phone rings. And listening to their little phone calls with friends restores my faith in humanity. 10/10 get in on their next restock!

3D Printer: My oldest got a 3D printer for her 7th birthday a few weeks ago and I don’t know who likes it more: me or her. My entire Instagram algorithm is 3D printer ideas and it’s sparking some serious joy. We got the Bambu Lab A1 (regular not mini) and if I had to do it differently I would also add in the AMS combo so that we could easily print multiple colors. I’m going to 3D print myself an entirely new life.

Apple Donuts: I forgot about this easy, kid-loving snack that we are working back into the rotation. Cut an apple width-wise and use a melon baller to cut out the middle then “ice” with a nut butter, honey, and sprinkles. If I can still trick my kids into eating something moderately healthy, you can too!

Air Color: This was another one of the top gifts of 2026 so far. My kids love moonlighting as graffiti artists with this super easy-to-use, intuitive airbrush kit where you just stick markers into a sprayer and channel your inner Banksy. We copied a neighbor who got one of these for Christmas and kids ages 3-12 have all loved it.

Dumpster: I got my husband a dumpster for his birthday (among other things like a Function Health membership and tickets to an Anaheim Ducks playoff game) and it was the gift that kept on giving. We purged, and we purged, and we purged some more. And by we, I mean I did. I decorated it cute too because even dumpsters deserve their moment in the sun.

Greenlight cards: If your kids are constantly asking for money like you’re a goddamn 24/7 ATM, let me save you some sanity: get them a Greenlight card. We got Greenlight for the girls, and it’s honestly one of those parenting tools I wish we’d started sooner. They can earn money for chores, save up for things they actually want, learn how spending works, and stop asking me for money to feed their snowcone adddictions. The best part? They feel wildly independent, and I get to teach them about money without turning every Target trip into a financial literacy seminar. It’s one of those rare things that’s both educational and makes my life easier—which, as a parent, is basically the holy grail. Plus they feel very grown up with their personalized credit cards (that I keep in my wallet). 10/10 any kid age 5 or up should have one of these! Use this link for $30 extra when you sign up.

Things That Sucked

Honestly the main thing is this fucking bubonic plague that’s trying to get me to meet Jesus this past week. I’m typing this article from an IV chair begging for the decadron and toradol coarsing through my veins to help me get rid of the barking cough that’s scaring people all over town. I’m popping Cepacol like Altoids - my mouth is so numb at this point that I just tried to take a sip of my drink and basically Slime Time Live’d myself with hot coffee. Jesus take the wheel.